Can I turn in my Mommy card? Just for one day though because I’m a bit OCD.

So it’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon, I’m supposed to be napping… AKA having some Mommy time in my own house. But of course your mind never wants to rest when you actually can. And for some reason, I find it relaxing to write when I’m all bent out of shape. I guess God doesn’t feel that my creative juices should ever stop flowing. Obviously. Anywho, today I feel like resting my Mommy cape. Not that I think that I suck at being a Mom or anything, but because BEING a Mom is hard work.. And I’m a tired one today. Today I peeled myself from a cozy bed at 8am to transport my children to their final basketball games. As I watched them come to a close, my face was like, “Goooo kids, what a great season!” But my inner voice was secretly screaming, “Yasssss! I’m glad this is over!” All while doing the nae-nae. In my head. Because my children have told me several times that I’m not that good at doing it in real life. Womp.

If you didn’t know, I have 3 little one’s. All in different stages of their childhood. A 12 year old preteen girl, who’d rather pick up a basketball than put on a dress *insert sad face here* , a little boy in a 10 year-old boy phase (too much weird stuff to describe that, plus I’m not a boy, so yeah.) then there’s the super Miniature me, who knows so much information she’d put many adults to shame. Seriously. While most Moms want to rant and rave about how wonderful it is to be raising the best, well-behaved, and gorgeous children on the planet, I’m like, they are CRAZY!! Haha! Now, of course I’m blessed to have them, because who else would I have tell me where I parked the car at Walmart? Duh. Listen, these 3 little human beings are full of energy and I’m over here like, “is it bedtime yet?” For me. LOL! For serious though. We just recently got over the ridiculous 18 day Christmas break and 2 weeks later, I’m still recovering. My pockets, my refrigerator and my sanity! I still have yet to have my question answered, “Who’s on the school board here, Satan?!” Actually I’m sure he is the President of it.

As I decided to write this, I googled “Mommy card” because I wanted to be like the other cool bloggers and put up a picture related to my post. What I found from said Google search is hundreds of ACTUAL mommy cards! Like, real life business cards with women’s names on them, stating who’s Mom they are included with their phone numbers and even addresses! What?! Who does that? Women that like to have other kids over their houses and do all kinds of stuff with other Moms. Welp! Now don’t get me wrong, if I know you, I am THAT Mom that will whip out my iPhone so quick to show you my little one’s perfect picture. But do you wanna know how long it took to get that shot? Sometimes 20 takes later. Then I’m just like, “Oh, just make the funny face why don’t ya.” I wish I had a 24 hour reel to capture the ridiculousness that occurs in our daily lives. Nah, then you’d know just how they got that way when you hear us singing sentences that sound more like show tunes. Listen, I have 3 little people who look like me, act like me, live in my house, eat all my food (even my I-don’t-think-they-will-like-these snacks 😒) run up my electricity bill, and give me unsolicited advice on how to wear my hair.. And I didn’t e’en ask them anyway.

Honestly, most days I’m exhausted before even leaving the house after having a ridiculous debate on why my 7 year old thinks she shouldn’t wear a coat, because she says “technically” although it’s “officially” Winter, we “actually” live in “Georgia” so do I “really ” need to wear a coat when it’s 45 degrees?? You see how crazy all those quotations looked? Imagine said little girl using air quotes every few words.. it will make you feel like maybe you should return to school and become an English major.. Because maybe she is being grammatically correct. Or maybe overly dramatic and she really needs to get her point across. Otherwise, you’d surely miss it. Either way she’s JUST like you. And that’s just.. Yikes! Trust me, I’ve apologized several times to my Parents and Husband for my princess/know-it-all behavior that has now manifest into a Mini-Mini-me. Many, many times.

As much as I’d like a Mommy-cation sometimes, a FaceTime reprimand from their Father suffices many a day. Did I mention that he’s the best?! Who else will have a pizza delivered 800 miles to your door because his name sake states that the Chicken gumbo you’ve prepared hurts his stomach? (Code for, “I don’t like the Chicken Gumbo you made Mom”) Gotta love a man that’s willing to spare your feelings AND make the kids happy. He’s awesome!! 😍 I remember when the kiddos were babies, I’d call home from work and be like, “Hey babe, did you feed the kids? What did they eat? Where did yall go? What do they have on today? And he’d say, “Nikita they’re fine, I know how to be a Dad, go back to work.. bye!” In a nice “Bye Felecia” kind of way though. Funny, the daycare provider would say the same. And my Mother. Whoa. Maybe I’m a bit controlling when it comes to them? Ah well. I baked them in my belly so I get that right, right? Maybe one day I’ll give up the need to feel that I HAVE to know everything, do everything, decide everything they eat, watch on television and if their bedtime prayers are said at 8:30 pm EST. Maybe. When they’re 30. Wishful thinking I’m sure…

But in the meantime, where’s my coffee IV?