Let it go; live!

So, I took a social media break for about 2 weeks. I was hoping that I could go longer, but hey. I won’t count it as a fail however.. Actually it was a big win. Over that time I reflected on life as a whole more, especially my last several years. Some things I’ve shared.. And some things have been shared for me. But nonetheless my life has been lived publicly.
If I can be honest, I’ll say that transparency has been so important to me because at some points, I felt like I had to vindicate myself, I wanted to tell my own story.. or even prove that I was ok. Even when I wasn’t. Then I thought, why do we even feel the desire to HAVE to share everything that happens with us anyhow? Why? Because everyone else appears to be? Maybe. But truth is, some are not even honest anyhow.
I will say however that I really do appreciate those, who’ve appreciated my candidness. I really do. I’d like to think that I’ve helped a few along the way.. But I believe at this point, my healing chapter has to come to an end. 
Like, it’s time to stop talking about it, or even feeling the pressing need TO keep on talking about things of the past.. It’s time to live. It feels good! So if you’ve been worried or concerned, don’t be. Know that I am well, and I’m living! Taking in every emotion, without feeling that I have to share them with anyone other than God, or sometimes my Husband and/or circle of supportive people. 
The only reason why I’m even writing this now, is because I feel like maybe someone else needs to do this as well. If that’s your choice, I’m just encouraging you. Life is hard. Love is hard. Divorce is hard. And so is depression. It really is. Add a few other trip ups along the way, and you may feel like you’re drowning.. But you will have your head above water one day, just keep waking up and thanking God for allowing you to. 
Just remember to take the pressure off of yourself along the way, and know that your life will still be good, even if you don’t share all that happens in it. Hell, it may even be better. You don’t have to explain what’s happening, just live and grow through it. Enjoy the ride, however bumpy, ugly, beautifully painful it all may be..just keep growing and learning. After all some things are just for you and only you. 
Contentment is nice. 

-Nikki ❤️


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