Marriage. It is hard work. It is more than just loving someone, it is a choice, to choose love over your “not so loving” emotions. It’s intentional. Sometimes it’s blissful, sometimes it’s one of the most difficult things that you’ve ever chosen to stay committed to. Giving up is the easiest thing to do, walking away because you “just can’t anymore”… We’ve been there too. There have been many tears, there have also been ridiculously unexplainable joys, illnesses, job losses and moves across hundreds of miles in distance. But just in the same prayers answered; many in ways that we will never understand.
So here we are, starting over, intentionally choosing to love, against all odds, no matter the mountain that appears in front of us, no matter how big, how scary, how much “I-didn’t-sign-up-for-this” it entails, we put on our seat belts and let God do his business. Even if it causes ego’s to be bruised, behaviors to die, tears to be shed… remember sometimes you have to lose the argument for BOTH of you to win in the marriage, whatever it takes! THIS time we pray together, attend couples counseling, have date nights, communicate, laugh more, enjoy our friendship, and have learned to forgive one another..again and again. All so that we do not end up how we were before: DIVORCED. Is it always comfortable? No. But we’re growing, and that’s more important to me.
This is what marriage is really all about. The stuff people don’t like to talk about. When you love something, you take care of it, right? Just like your body, exercising and making healthy food choices. (😁) You do everything to make it stronger, not just to “look better” but to actually BE better and healthy. Pruning and discarding anything that isn’t essential for growth. You don’t give up, because if you do, you may never see what it was destined to become. You keep on trying, no matter what. You give the effort, be patient (I’m still working on this) and leave room for mistakes, because sometimes it takes a couple of failures before you get it right.
So, I say all of this to say one thing: Fix it. If you are married and on the brink of giving up, do the work and work that ish out! And for those who are about to get married, be ready and willing to do the work. People don’t get married to later become divorced, but it does happen. It is much harder to repair broken hearts after you’ve divorced, trust. The heart of your own, your spouse, and those around you, especially your children. Unless you are in an abusive, dangerous and/or life-threatening situation, do the work, pray and figure it out, together! It may not be pretty, but it will be worth it. I hope this helped someone.
#MarriageInRealLife #TheGraves #SecondTimeAround #Unashamed