6/2/2020 #BlackOutTuesday

6/2/2020

I read a comment yesterday that said, “people love to stay in their comfortable corners when things like this happen..”

And I’ll admit, while I am often very empathetic and deeply affected by the unfortunate and downright inhumane experiences of my black brothers & sisters-it has been years since I posted about it.

Since I’ve moved back home from living in the south, I’ll attribute it to my comfort zone. Living in the suburbs of KS & now MO-not being close to the threat.. or physically close to “my people” in Georgia… or so I think.

But now, NOW I have a son soon approaching 16. A Black son who has white “friends” that are totally oblivious to the affects of what their friend feels. And their Mothers will never worry as much as I. EVER. Just last week, I had to hug him and say the only words that I could, while tears fell-“I love you son & and today you are safe”. He will be driving sooner than later… I have so many emotions about it. His Father is bi-racial, his Bonus Father is not-It’s not the same. Although little does he know, it kinda is…

The only thing we can do at this point, is teach him how to react if they are stopped by the police or approached by someone that thinks his 5’10 composure is a threat. Which all in itself is heartbreaking.

My Husband & I own black businesses, both of which we (sometimes) service customers that don’t look like us, but our mission is still the same. The Black dollar. And because of that, we both support many local black businesses a lot of the time. Still I hope our counterpart customers are allies, but honestly idk.

In my daily world, most of my co-workers are white. I have yet to hear one word of compassion from them.. maybe they don’t know what to say, maybe they want to not say anything.. meanwhile they are organizing “meet-ups” to drink beer and shoot the shit. As if WE are not at all affected, because these hashtags are not names that they or I personally know. I am not surprised however.

At the Oak Park Mall on Sunday, a sales associate said to me, “they closed the mall early because of the protesting I guess? I just think it’s all crazy and should stop”. Karen only got a glare from me. Because, not very often do words fail me, but because in that moment I realized that she obviously didn’t WANT to understand & we are not the same.

I started an art piece the other day, but can’t bring myself to finish it. usually art speaks for me, but for now this will have to do. Cause I’m artistically spent.

Nik 💔