boundless freedom

I stopped using my social media as a open (public) journal… and what I’ve found is that this was one of the most important things that have deepened my relationships. It also gave me a chance to stop the perfectionism wheel (trap) that I created for myself—mainly because I often compared to whom I wanted to be vs. where I was on that journey to get there.

As I look at my FB memories; I am proud to say that growth feels + looks different for me. I now have moved away from sharing sacred lessons from & with my family or passing on every piece of advice I’d received from wise people by way of honestly passing judgment unto others because they haven’t been living the same way that I just learned to do.

I unfortunately have also realized that some of the people that I believed supported me the most—were merely surprised that I kept making things happen for myself despite anything that I encountered. And interestingly, that’s how I found out who was truly in my corner vs. who enjoyed being a voyeur of my misfortunes and holding on to that version of Nikki.

“I had to reintroduce myself to everyone that thought they knew me, I’m just getting to know me. Anything that’s not growing is dead, so we better be changing. People would hold me emotionally hostage. Let the experiences teach you, and be real. There’s gonna be warfare involved because some people prefer deceptions. Emotional warfare happens in relationships; being able to tell the people we love the most the truth about ourselves is freeing. They say, ‘I don’t like this new expression, it doesn’t fit into our box for you. And then you say, ‘well, I ain’t in no box’. —Lauryn Hill

Nonetheless, #GodAlwaysBeKnowin and them + the lessons that were brought along with them were all apart of the road to discovering the best version of myself, too. I’ve also removed the shame placed upon myself and the desire to delete things that I’ve said/done for social media.. because it provides a snapshot of time of who I used to be AND I give her compassion now—instead of judgment.

I love that this blog has provided me a place to pour my heart out for 8 years. Because this is art, too & I am grateful.

“When you get free, see who still enjoys watching you fly.” —me to me

—-Nik ❤️