Looking through my FB memories today; I thought about how some people tend to act like friendship breakups don’t bother them. That’s not true, for me.
I wasn’t even going to type this out, but I also realize that writing + sharing is a therapeutic tool for me, still.
You may read people’s post about “letting toxic friends go” and “they’re no longer for me”..etc. And yet, they truly don’t talk about the process of working through the emotions until you find the peace in that, even if it is true. Like, it hurts, until it doesn’t anymore. Much like a relationship; I even wrote about it in my book.
While I’ve been in therapy, I have come to realize two important things: sometimes things can be my fault and it may take me a while to be accountable about that, and also, sometimes people can be at fault—while also being unwilling to have honest conversation about how they’ve hurt you. They may even lack the tools to do so.
Anywho, I could easily say that when communication fails that time can be the answer to having THE conversation, but I’ve debunked that theory as well. Both pride & being too forgiving are equally demolishing travesties of the same coin that once connected two people together. At times, separation IS the answer. You just have to take your time working through the muck of it all, until you get free—emotionally.
All relationships require honesty + emotional safeness. one or the other will not do.
As I’ve said before, “sometimes things shatter so greatly, that they are best left apart”. And that applies to friendships, too. Because most times, those hurt the deepest.
with love,
—Nik ❤️
Nikita Vonee’s Blog 