I heard something the other day, “transparency is being honest about what you are going through, and vulnerability is sharing how you felt going through it”. And all I could say is, “wow”.
Being a creative can sometimes put you at a crossroads of, “do I write/create and share because I FEEL like I want to? Or do I share what I’m creating because I think PEOPLE are entitled to still follow my journey no matter how I feel?” At this point, I’m choosing the former, because anything else feels like a pressured performance.
I have a real question: where would you really be in life without social media? Would you be further along in your self discovery journey? Figuring life out without the distraction of what someone else is doing? Would you be worse off in your mental wellness? Or better? Are we really being intentional about the things that we feed our spirit with? Or are we literally scrolling our lives away in comparison to someone else’s very curated online journey? Are we being our authentic selves, or merely mirrors of what we see others doing/being online?
It can be hard to decipher when our daily habits include incessantly moving our thumbs across the 6 inch screen while drinking our morning coffee or in the grocery check out line. Unconsciously taking in hundreds of bits of information before we’ve even allowed ourselves to be conscious of what we already knew from the day before. A literal reel of events that may sometimes never seem to end, because we’re picking up from where we left off the night before where we scrolled until we tired.
Some of us need to be connected to promote and accept business for our “brand”—but at what time is the break allowed without missing business opportunities or purchase? “Hustle & Grind culture” pushes this agenda of “get the bag at all times”; and to that I say, “hell nah.” With no other explanation. BUT if you are a “one-woman-show I.E. an-overly-independent-person-that-is-afraid-that-no one-else-will-do-it-right”. What happens then? Humph, what a conundrum.
Recently I caught up with a friend at my studio, and she told me that she had been off of social media for close to four years. We literally had to exchange photos of our children by email. And it reminded me how we take for granted that sometimes not sharing the sacred things in our lives online—for public consumption, can be very helpful to our overall well-being. And I really admire people that do that so well. Especially those that actually enjoy social media, but often take extended breaks.
We have watched people live their lives in front of us on display for many years, as evidenced by our Facebook memories. Sometimes we think that we really know people or their children, just by watching them in a state of voyeurism for years. And most times we think that we are entitled to continue to know people’s ins and outs of their daily lives and their relationships, too. Even when they choose to no longer share it.
For this reason, I have changed my thoughts about “transparency” when it comes to this, because at the end of the day, it can walk the fine border line of over-sharing. And there is always a cost to that. Even if you can write an entire book that encapsulates it. Because sometimes things are just for you.
I love being a creative. I enjoy my life. But I won’t lie, sometimes my belief that GOD’s sense of humor + unmatched life lessons cause me to seriously believe that someone had a personal vendetta from my former life. Anywho, I’ve shared online about these experiences for over 10 years; the ups, downs & plateaus too. I love that people have resonated with my words; I appreciate all of times they’ve shared about the impact—-but for now I’m taking a break from it all until I’m ready to share again… and when I do, it will be to a different tune.
—Ya girl Nik ❤️
Nikita Vonee’s Blog 